I know that I have never written about this subject before and to honest I am quite nervous to share my thoughts about it but I figure that is part of everyone else’s life and it can be an interesting topic to discuss. So to make it clear, this article is about SEX. It’s a TABOO topic that many people have issues talking about. To begin with, I need to ask: Are you single? Are you in a relationship, married or in a long term relationship? This article is primarily for those of us in the last category, either currently or those that has previously been.
How often is normal to have sex in a relationship? How often do you have sex?
I bet you have all experienced the first months of a relationship. You are all crazy about each other, have sex constantly, try new things and have the desire to want him/her more and more. But with time, the sex appeal is not the same, at least not as much for women. Comparing your relationship with the sex you had in the begining to now, it’s a bit of a difference, right? But that is totally OK and everywhere I read it says it’s actually a good thing. It means that you are getting to know each other better, spending time as best friends and dealing with the harder things that life is challenging you with.
Even in a strong relationship we cannot expect everything to be the same in bed all the time, sometimes the man has more desire than the woman and sometimes it’s the other way around. Desire changes, as do bodies. Another cause can be the self conscience for example, I don’t feel very attractive or desirable when I start gaining weight. I don’t want to see myself naked in the mirror and I don’t want anyone else to see me either. But not only the body changes in time but also the sexual desire. It may take longer to have an orgasm and you may need some extra help for example with lubrication.
There is a nice blog on psychologytoday.com called Psychology Today’s Married and Still doing It which argues that sometimes we just have to go with the flow . Even if you are tired, burned out, stressed or not in the mood, just do it. Because as they put it “after being stimulated, desire kicks in’’. You should not be forced to do it but if you go with the flow there is a good chance that you might be glad you did it.
In the end to, I don’t think there is an answer that fits everyone. If you are a woman, get yourself in the mood by dressing up in something sexy, have a glass of wine and think of the things you want do to him or even watch porn (yes, women watch porn also) and if you are a man, oh well from my experience, they are always in the mood.
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