In my previous article steps to help you set your goals I talk about the importance of having a goal for yourself and point out some of the steps to set them up. In this article I am talking about the power of sticking to it, self control and the importance of having a positive mind set.
If you have already set up one or more goals for yourself, how is your progress now? Are you approaching the goal at the speed you planned? Are you almost there? Are you feeling like giving up? Don’t! Stick with me and we can do it together.
Some of you may have heard about the famous ‘’Stanford Marshmallow experiment’’ which involved 600 children between four and six from the Bing Nursery School. The experiment was conducted at Stanford University, where the researchers offered them a deal: they could have a choice of a marshmallow, cookie or pretzel immediately or sit and wait 15 minutes without eating it and then have double their favourite treat.
A minority ate the one treat immediately and of those who tried to wait, one third actually succeeded. Now what is interesting is that follow up studies showed that the kids that successfully delayed gratification actually went on to live better lives. They scored better in test and archiving better education. What is my point with this story? If you want to have success in scoring a goal for yourself you have to develop Self-control.
Developing self-control isn’t easy. There are temptations and distractions and waiting for the right opportunity but you can help yourself by learning to eliminate or minimize all the distractions that work against your self control. Another example is Song of Style (I am sure most of you heard of her, she is one of the most popular bloggers at the moment). In her book, Capture your style, she says that she has had many opportunities that she turned down because thinking long term, waiting for the right opportunity might benefit her more than choosing the wrong one early.
Self control is like a muscle you build up every time you practise it. Keep training and the muscle will strengthen and provide the power you need in order to stick to your goal.
I have to be honest here, one of my goals is quite obvious: make blogging and writing a career but it is not always as easy as I thought it would be. When you begin something it is often with a positive mindset but in time there will always be obstacles that we need to be prepared for. When things don’t work like you imagined it would, that makes it hard to go on and puts a large demand on your persistence and self control.
To reach a goal it is as important that we learn from our obstacles as from our destination. Valerie Burton says in her book ‘’ Successful women think differently’’ that ‘’there is often more to learn from failure than success, so when your journey to the goal line meets a hurdle, don’t stop! Jump! The finish line lies just ahead‘’.
Nothing worth having comes easy is an old saying, and frankly if you think about it, imagine getting the job you want, your dream job without working for it at all, would you still be proud of yourself for getting the position? Would the dream job that was accomplished so easily mean the same to you as if you had to fight for it? I don’t think so, you would get bored and look for something else. But if you work your ass off and try to prove yourself and after many many attempts you get it, how does it feel then? Have you ever had a big accomplishment that gave you that feeling?
I am not a very religious person now, but when I was small I was. My mom was catholic and we used to go church every Sunday. One of the many things I learned there was that if you think of good things, or wish good things then good things will come to you.
Basically, what I am saying is that positivity attracts positivity. Even when life gives us hard challenges, it is still up to us to see things clearly and with a positive mind set.
I can easily related to this, my life hasn’t always been easy and I may have been through things that many people haven’t and I still get down too easily. This is something I am trying to work with and I am positive that one day I will accomplish my goal. But for now, I find joy in the things I have accomplished so far, the things I can do and some days I simply say to myself : Lighten up, girl!
One of my joys are that you read my article and that perhaps it can help you somehow, direct you or inspire you or maybe just – lighten you up- . If you are looking for ways to find joy from the little things in life, read my other article ‘’find your happy moments’’.
If you can’t wait for your threat, find the marshmallow bellow and together with one of my favourite books of all times written by Valerie Burton.